Stitch by stitch

It started as a “give a moose a muffin” kind of task. The Navy Base where I’ve been leading Kabbalat Shabbat and teaching needed a new ark for the Torah. They graciously rebuilt a cabinet for us, but it needed something important – a curtain for the ark. “I’ll do it” It’s only 8 seams.

Got home, pulled out my trusty old (emphasis OLD) Sears Kenmore sewing machine, and it was basically a brick. Took a while to find a repair shop for sewing machines, and when I finally got there, they said for what it would cost to fix, I could get a new one.

So I did. I could thread my old one without looking. This basic model one had some very fancy things, plus basic things in different places, and a long users’ manual. It took a long time to pick a fabric. What would look best covering a Torah?

Finally I took to the task today. I set it up. I tried to fill a bobbin. I tried to thread it. Back to the manual. I pulled out all my old sewing boxes and actually found (almost) everything I needed, reaquainting myself with my 7th grade home ec training. I practiced on a rag to see if it all worked.

The first stitch. Suddenly, a feeling of intentionalilty and holiness filled me, along with an unnusual sense of calm. I’m making something to adorn a Torah. I started. I stalled (literally) I fixed it. Back to the rag to test it. It would take as long as it needed to take to get it right. I listened to some favorite music. I measured and cut and stitched, all the while with the Torah in my head and heart. I know there’s a metaphor in there somewhere.

It had been a long time since I’d sewn anything, and all my physical familiarity with the process came back. But this first time back, in front of a new machine, using old skills, learning and doing and taking my time, felt really different.

I’ll be up at the Base tomorrow night, and will thread the new curtain through the rods in place, draping the Torah in joyous new fabric, 8 seams mostly straight. Pride is not the word I’m looking for (hem m’vinim y’vanim) But when I stand in front of the ark tomorrow evening, I’ll know I’ve made Torah a part of me, that I had a hand in making Torah mine. That is the core of my teaching, after all.

Torah belongs to everyone. We engage, we comment, we argue, we respect, we honor those words and stories. I added a little of my story to it today.

Chayeh Sarah: Humans and humanity

Though this week’s parasha is named after Sarah, she isn’t as much part of the story, since she dies within the first couple of verses. Instead, the parasha focuses on the continuation of the generations after Abraham. Abraham has been thinking about finding Isaac a wife so he sends his most loyal servant Eliezer back to the old country to find him a wife. What follows is a fairly detailed account of Eliezer’s meeting of Rebecca and negotiating for her to come back to marry Isaac.

Through the narrative, we get a look into Rebecca’s character, plus a quick shout-out to Abraham, her future father-in-law. Eliezer goes to the town well, where all important things happen, and sees this young woman who offers to water his many camels. She is one strong young woman!! Rebecca goes on to invite Eliezer and his companions back to her home.

But Rebecca has characteristics that catch Eliezer’s attention. She is also kind and hospitable. She displays the personality trait of “chesed”; Abraham was known for his hospitality, too, when he welcomed the strangers into his tent, offering them respite from their travels. That’s exactly what Rebecca does, and this is what Eliezer is drawn to. Rebecca is like Abraham in this sense, and Eliezer knows she is the wife for Isaac. It could have been anyone who came to help Eliezer with his camels, but here is a story not only of betrothal, but also the continuation of covenant God made with Abraham.

The key to enacting God’s vision of the world, through the covenant and the greater world, is kindness as displayed in human activities. God’s will is unfolding through this very human action of kindness. It’s the difference between humans and humanity. When Eve and Adam were created in the Garden, they were humans. When they left, they began humanity. Flawed, making mistakes, but furthering humanity nevertheless. The Garden released curiosity and free will into humanity; Abraham and Rebecca brought kindness.

We need both. Frankly, we need all the kindness we can get today. Keep seeking the kindness that Eliezer sought out. How do you see chesed playing out in your life, your work, your family, your community?

Shabbat shalom.

Bereshit: Where shall I begin (get it?)

The beginning. We’ve left the liminal space of Torah readings between the old year and the new. There’s no way to address every aspect of this remarkable portion, and I won’t try.

I’ll let theater do some talking here. I’m currently in a production of Children of Eden, an early musical by Stephen Schwartz, he of Wicked, Pippin, Godspell fame. Basically, Children of Eden is one beautiful midrash; act one is all Eden and act two is Noah.

In Schwartz’s Eden, God is male and called “Father.” He created the world so as to not be alone. “I woke up from a curious dream…I dreamed a perfect garden…and I wasn’t lonely anymore” And then there was something more in the dream. “There is one more thing to build, one more void to that must be filled, I’ll make creatures called children” These “children” will keep Father young. And if Adam and Eve love Father, love the family he created, they will accept the Garden and its boundaries without question.

Adam repeats the “if you love me….” reasoning to his sons, when Cain tries to get Abel to leave with him to explore “beyond”, like his mother did, and Adam pleads with Abel not to go.

For this Father, Creation is about keeping him from being lonely, and he sees everything this first family does as a reflection of the parent/child relationship, wanting children to stay forever young and forever dependent on Father. Anything else is a betrayal, but by the end of the Noah story, Father realizes that “the hardest part of love is the letting go.” and he has to learn a new way of relating to his children. That is every parent’s truth.

But this is also a story of humanity. If Adam and Eve had stayed in Eden, our humanity, our unique ability to dream like God did would never have developed. Eve says, “Why did you put questions in me?” “Why did you disobey me”, Father responds. “That’s not an answer!” she throws back in his face. Eve didn’t sin. Eve chose. Whether or not we bring pain into our choices, we were created with choice, and the will to use it. And, like Adam and Eve, we will live with the consequences, building our own world, taking care of each other, building humanity, building community, always building, always looking for the “beyond”, because that is our true human selves.

A New Year

For those who celebrate, we begin a New Year. May this one be drama-free. May this one hold you in health, joy, and love. May you have a sweet new beginning. May you find moments of quiet and softness among the swirling chaos, the tohu v’vohu. May there be enough sweet tears of joy to outweigh the salty ones of sadness. May we find community however we can. And let us say…

Selichot: Of two minds

Worlds collide. Or rather, texts collide. Calendars collide.

I have many calendars in my head. Thankfully, the school calendar is no longer a primary concern (yay, adult kids!), but there is the secular calendar, the Jewish calendar, and in particular crossover this week, the Jewish calendar and the one we’re following in my weekly Torah class. In “real life” we’re in Deuteronomy (Ki Tavo) and approaching the High Holidays. But in “class life” we’re in Genesis, and in the Jacob story. Yet the two are connected through teshuvah.

In the Jacob story, he is struggling, even before he meets the angel and gets his new name, Israel, the God-wrestler. He has reached out to his long-estranged brother Esau, and isn’t sure what to expect. Finally, when he hears that Esau is coming to meet him with 400 men, Jacob gets scared and separates his family and animals into two groups, so if one gets attacked, the other may survive. He is hoping for reconciliation but preparing for battle.

Which brings me to teshuva and the High Holidays.

We are of two minds when we approach God for teshuvah. Will our prayers, our atonements, our efforts of reconciliation be accepted or not. We have a plan A and a plan B, we are of two minds, but when we break the fast on Yom Kippur, we are shalem, whole, and at peace.

It’s a struggle. Like Jacob, and especially over the last 18 months, we wrestle with the year past, the upcoming year, and our real-life struggle yearns for shalem.

As we enter the last weeks of Elul and observe Selichot after Shabbat this weekend, let us acknowledge our struggle, our plans A and B, and work towards achieving a meeting of our two minds.

Shoftim: The Ethics of War

I have a special spot in my heart for this week’s parasha, Shoftim. It was my daughter’s portion for her Bat Mitzah, and it is chock full of good stuff (just like her!)

One particularly interesting section is Chapter 20 , which addresses military ethics. For some, this is an oxymoron, but if you look closer at the text, it’s not. There are underlying values that come through, even through the pain and waste of war. One example is the Torah spends a fair bit of time talking about who is fit to fight, who can be part of the army.

The leadership is addressing the troops, before going into battle. First, the priest speaks to tell them God is on their side. Then, the officials speak. They ask four questions:

• Is there anyone among you who has built a new house but not dedicated it yet? Go home.
• Is there anyone who has planted a vineyard but hasn’t harvested it? Go home.
• Is there anyone who is engaged, but hasn’t married his wife yet? Go home.
• Is there anyone afraid and disheartened and can bring his comrades’ morale down? Go home.

The underlying value here is the future, realizing that the battle won’t last forever, and even in the midst of war, the community has to plan for the future. Each of the first three questions – new house, new field, new marriage – is about potential, the potential in building community, feeding the community, and the stability of the family unit. They are long-term investments in the community, which is just as important as the battle being waged. For if you have nothing to fight for, nothing to defend, can’t see yourself as part of the future, why engage in battle?

The last one question, about being afraid and not wanting to bring down the morale of those in the battle, is different. This is about recognizing that not everyone is cut out for fighting, and everyone in the community has a role to play. The mental health, not just the physical safety, of the community is important, too.

There are no consequences to going home, for any of the reasons the Torah lists. The US Armed Services has its rules about who can serve and who can’t, but they mostly have to do with your past. Chapter 20 in Deuteronomy is about the future, who will come home from the battle, and what kind of community will be waiting.

Re’eh: The physical Torah

Torah is pretty connected to the physical. In the Shma, we are told “hear.” Throughout Torah we are commanded to “do, observe, DO” And this is how this week’s parasha begins, “Re’eh, See.”

The parasha deals a lot with curses and blessings. If you follow in God’s ways, you get blessed. If you don’t, cursed. It seems pretty binary.

But in Chapter 15, there is nuanced; nay, even contradictory text. “There shall be no needy among you.” Well, that’s not true, is it?   (15:4) A few verses later, we read, “If, however, there is a needy person among you…” (15:7)  If? But we just read….. And then, the kicker, “For there will never cease to be needy ones in your land” (15:11)

Now I’m confused.

Here’s where the physical comes back into play.  Hand. Eyes. Heart.

Our eyes are needed to see the needy – they will always be there.

Our hearts are needed to feel: “do not harden your heart and shut your hand against your needy kinsman

Our hands are needed to take action: “Open your hand to the poor and needy” (the rest of v 11)

It is our job to see clearly the vulnerable in our society, and open our eyes, hands, and heart to alleviate that suffering. We are all impacted, affected, and yes, cursed by the poverty and want in our communities. But by acknowledging those in need, not turning aside, that is where the blessings lie. And by doing something about it, that’s how the blessings continue.

Ekev: a mini-Torah

Moses was an efficient man, when it came to conveying to the people what they must remember once they get in the Land. In the parasha Ekev (does that ring a bell? Ekev means “heel” and “Yaakov” who became the God-wrestler, Israel? But I digress….) manages to slam into 7 verses (Deut 10:12-19) references to the other four books of the Torah! Not bad.

First, we have Deuteronomy language,  “And now O Israel, what does Adonai your God demand for you? ….Love God with all your heart and soul…that’s the Shma.

Then, we read, “Mark the heavens to their uttermost reaches belong to Adonai your God, the earth and all that is on it”….that’s Genesis, creation language.

Then, we read, “…God chose you from all peoples”..that’s Exodus language, about well, the Exodus.

And finally, we read, “God upholds the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and befriends the stranger…you too must befriend the stranger, for you were strangers in Egypt”….that’s Leviticus language, from the Holiness Code.

So why would Moses make all these references? This was an aural tradition for the people. They heard stories, they listened to Moses tell them so much, especially during this book. He knows he’s not going into the Land with them, so Deuteronomy is sort of a brain-dump from Moses. He has a lot to convey to the people to guide them when they’re without his leadership. So this is like a mini-Torah, a short-hand way of triggering their memories of not only all that has happened, but what is really important as they go forward.

These are the values they need to guide them: Love God with all of your being, not only the Universal Creator God, but the Particular Exodus God. Remember the stranger because you were strangers.

These are the values that guide us to this day, through the Shma recited so we remember we are one people, Shabbat that honors Creation, Passover to commemorate the Exodus, and social action/social justice that reminds us to help the most vulnerable in our world.

How do these values impact what you do? How you think? How you act?

Shabbat shalom.

Chukat: Lemons and lemonade

The unholy becomes holy. The profane becomes sacred. Twice, in Torah portions, one after the other, we see two instances when objects that began as impure return to purify.

Last week, in the parasha Korach, we read of the firepans of those who followed him in their rebellion against Moses. After a fire erupted and destroyed the two hundred and fifty followers of Korach. Then God told Moses to tell Eleazar (Aaron’s son) to “remove the fire pans -for they have become sacred from among the charred remains….of those who have sinned at the cost of their lives ..to be made into hammered sheets as plating for the altar.” (Num 17:2-4) 

This week’s portion Chukah contains the unusual law about finding an incredibly rare red heifer, one that is without blemish, no defect and has never worn a yoke. The same Eleazar from last week is told to go outside the camp and watch while someone else (not a priest?) slaughters the cow, and it is to be burned completely. The person who did the ritual takes a bath and does his laundry. And then a different, “clean” person takes the ashes and puts them aside to be used with water in a purifying ritual, to be used at a later date for an unidentified ritual.

The objects of rebellion become part of the holiest place. The impure is used to purify. The unholy is used for holy purpose. Is this making lemonade out of lemons? Is it merely making the best of a bad situation?

How many times have people told you to look on the bright side when you’re in a dark place? Look for the light, look for the good. Does it help? Or does it put you further into the dark, pushing back against the light?

The Torah certainly has its opinion – the unholy can be redeemed by using it for good. What’s your opinion?

Korach: There’s too many of them

Rav lachem.  (Num 16:3)

Here is a rewrite of a post from a couple of yeas ago. Honestly, I didn’t have to change much.

You have gone too far. Or as Rashi (11^th c France) translated, “You have too much” Or, as Ibn Ezra (12^th c Spain) translated, “You have enough.”

Here’s the setting: Korach, a Levite like Moses and Aaron, but from a different branch of the family, rose up against Moses. He had gathered 250 tribal leaders of the Israelites, and stood against Moses and Aaron. Korach said, “rav lachem”, staging a revolt against the very leaders that took the people out of Egypt and has been leading them through the wilderness.

Many have wondered what it was that bothered Korach so much; what was he accusing Moses and Aaron of doing that was so bad, they needed to start a revolution? Moses and Aaron were haughty? They weren’t sharing the leadership roles? After all, Korach said, the whole community is holy, and who made you so special to be ruling over us? Moses, upon hearing this, told Korach the next day, God would make clear who the leader was to be, adding, “rav lachem” – basically, right back atcha, Korach, no you’ve gone too far.

We see the word “rav” in other places, as applied to the people as a whole. In Exodus, (Ex 1:9), Pharoah said that the people were “rav” – there were too many of them, and he was alarmed.  And later in Numbers, King Balak hires a prophet to curse the Israelites because they had become “rav”, which alarmed the King.

Maybe what’s really bothering Korach (and Pharaoh and Balak) is that he was threatened by the number of people that were following Moses and Aaron. Pharaoh and Balak were alarmed by how numerous the people had become. Was Korach alarmed by how popular Moses had become?

We’re still vilifying the “other” on the flimsiest of pretenses, as in the recent attaches on AAPI persons. And the rise in anti-semitism is dangerous and worrying. It’s an easy message: Those other people are dangerous. Those people are threatening our lifestyles. Those people are getting too numerous, and they’ll crowd us out. And in a crucial twist of truth, that leader isn’t really the leader, my guy is the one. My guy convinced me he won. That message got heard by a lot of people last year, but like Korach’s rebellion, I believe it will fail.

When the motivation for a message is “rav lachem”, there are too many of those people, it will fail, because ultimately, we all are them.